KomiKs ni Kilay: Ang ADA

ADA a sort of document where contract-of-service employees can check when their services can be finally paid for a certain work period. Don’t ask me what it stands for, all I know is, while I was under COS terms at the office where I currently work, we’ll know we’ll finally get our hands on our little salaries as soon as we see our names on the ADA, often seen filed at the Cash Section for the scrutiny of all. If you see your name on the ADA, sometime after lunch the day after, you can check your payroll account online, and you’ll be sure to see a set of highly unfamiliar numbers linked to your name. And then, you go straight to the nearest ATM, cash out your salary, only to be barricaded by your endless creditors on your way back into the office.

Here’s a little something I know far too well: when ADAs come late, and there was no way to further stretch that last Php 100 bill in your wallet to last another day.

Maybe you should check out these video clips first before reading my web comic, or you might not get the joke immediately. ūüėõ

Enjoy!

comic01-01comic01-02comic01-03comic01-04comic01-05comic01-06comic01-07

What the Fudge?!? The New 911 Hotline

” ‘Dong! Nasusunog ang bahay niyo!!” Sigaw ni Mang Berto, isang tricycle driver na palaging kainuman ni Dodong. Dali-daling napabalikwas si Dodong upang dukutin ang kanyang celpon sa bulsa.

“Bumbero! Tumawag kayo ng bumbero!” Napupuno ng mga naghihiyawan mga bata, matanda, babae at lalaki ang Barangay Bagong Dating. Lahat sila ay parang nagpapaunahan pang makalayo mula sa lumalaking sunog at usok na nagmumula sa direksiyon ng bahay ni Dodong. Kaniya-kaniya din silang bitbit ng mga mahahalagang gamit at damit na maari pang iligtas mula sa tuluyang lumalaking sunog.

Pinindot na ni Dodong ang mga numerong 9-1-1 sa kanyang celpon at inangat ito malapit sa kaniyang tenga. Halos mamuti na ang mga labi ni Dodong sa kaba, at habang iniintay na mag-ring ang kanyang celpon, hindi na siya mapakali na marinig ang boses may sasagot sa kabilang linya.

“…Sorry hindi sapat ang iyong load balance para magpatuloy sa tawag na ito. Para patuloy na makatawag, siguraduhing laging may sapat na load…”

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking: this is a mere exaggerated story. In a baranggay of at least 100 people, there has to be one who has sufficient load credits to call for help, without a doubt. So, in a crisis scenario where you happen to be the only person in the area, with no other person within miles to call for help on your behalf, well, you’re doomed.

Like, for instance, you went out hiking on your own, and somehow slipped on some rock and injured your ankle? Through that phone away if you have no prepaid load, because even if there’s mobile network reception in the area where you find yourself stuck, all alone in oblivion, with very little chance of locals finding you, you can’t call for help.

So, what’s the point of having a nationwide emergency hotline?

My question is this, how come telcos did not consider letting all calls through, and merely crediting payment AFTER the call is made, and AS SOON AS THE SUBSCRIBER tops up the account? If the reason behind the Php 5 fee is to discourage prank callers, then, the same purpose is still met if calls connect and the fee is deducted once load credits are transferred into the prepaid sim, correct? Also, there has to be a way to log frequent prank callers into the system, and, say, block any more incoming calls from repeat offenders? I know the US 911 hotline has a standard operating procedure for verifying prank calls and blocking repeated instances from connecting into the line, right?

And one other matter… What the fudge, Globe Telecom?! Can you prove with call logs from your patrons that a considerable number of them dialed 911 for no reason to warrant the implementation of a penalty? That’s exactly what I think this Php5 charge is for, penalty. It’s to penalize prank callers, the article said. Does that mean, Globe Telecom sees millions of its subscribers as potential prank callers whom they cannot trust to consider the value and sacredness of the 911 emergency number? Let me say that again– what the fudge, GLOBE?!?

This is why I’m frustrated over this development on the 911 Nationwide emergency hotline: there could’ve been ways to go around the collection of fees without barring even legitimate emergency calls from connecting to the hotline, why was it not done? I’m sure telcos are smart (or globe :3), otherwise, they would not have survived this long, nor have they earned and expanded this much since day one of operations.

Perhaps, this is just one of the many half-assed efforts of people in public service. I can’t help but wonder why this is the running standard in public service, and the motto is “okay na ‘yan”. NEWS FLASHIT IS NOT OKAY, OKAY?

In fairness to the government, the promise to establish a nationwide emergency hotline was fulfilled by the current administration in mere weeks since its official commencement. Even so, for government programs such as this one, the system is expected to work, and not simply appear to work just to satisfy the responsibility of keeping one’s word. In as early as in its conceptualization stage, this matter should have come to mind at the onset, and strategies on how to keep the service free, how to ensure that no prank calls will be logged, and how to reprimand first-time and penalize habitual prank callers should have been established in its manual of operations.

This concludes my very first “WHAT THE FUDGE (WTF)?!?” blog post. I’m hoping to write more of this in the days to come. Stay tuned!

xoxo

 

Poetry –¬†

Look, the birds have come to sing,
Little miss Sunshine, don’t you see?
Spreading their wings to soar up high;
Never looking back.

Hush, the sun is back again,
Little miss Sunshine, don’t you see?
Clearing the darkness of the past;
Its another day.

Darling open up your pretty eyes;
Theres no need to hide or cry;
What has passed is all long gone;
All thats left to do is one.

Come, the road has cleared for you,
Little miss Sunshine, don’t you see?
Take my hand, I’ll hold you close;
All will be okay.

-concluded 10:29p 07/16/16


I was on facebook when I saw screenshots of the indie movie “Little Miss Sunshine”, with a few quotes from the scene visible at the bottom of the image, then I thought of something bittersweet to write about. Pretty soon, the words began to command my fingers as I typed away and managed to complete a 4-stanza poem. I intended to keep this piece from becoming a full-fledged quatrain (with rhyme patterns) because I actually envisioned this piece to be sung than spoken, thus explains the consistent meter. I’ll see if I can ask Byron to make the music. I imagine plenty of strings here…

Of all the songs I’ve written (and lost, or forgotten) in the past, this must be the first one I’ve written without rhyme. I’m a sucker for aabb¬†and abab patterns, and anything else that rhymes even without a fixed measure, I find extremely amazing. This could also be why I am a huge fan of Eminem— his writing style, mastery of vocabulary and creativity are beyond compare.

Overall, despite the obvious simplicity of this piece, I am quite satisfied with the outcome. I’ve been absent from the realm of creative writing for years, and a short four-stanza piece is just what I needed to break the (seemingly) unbreakable chain of dormancy and writer’s block. Who knows what I manage to conjure up next?

By the way, I finally figured out what story element to use for my novel-in-the-making Doctor Faust. I’ve been stuck with that problem for years, and that’s why all I could manage to put together is a prologue in short story format. The movie The General’s Daughter gave me an idea, but of course, I’m not going to copy from that. But, in giving credit where credit is due, I’ll admit that this is where I’ll be drawing an inspiration from. For some of you out there who haven’t seen the 1990’s movie, if you get upset over poorly written movies with wasted potential, I’d advise you against watching it. The first hour and a half will only keep your hopes up for an awesome ending, but believe me, you’ll find yourself feeling a bit shorthanded in the end.

I’ll try to write a few lines of Faust to test it [story element] out. I’ll upload it on Wattpad if I ever manage to get at least seven chapters down, if all story elements I have so far and this new one aligns. And I hope you can all come over and read it.
xoxo

The Paste Remembers

I’m sorry, I simply couldn’t help it…

I was working on something for work (particularly a Guidebook / Manual on the agencies programs and projects for our Regional Staff ), when I came across these words on a tooltip, and despite the amount of work that needs to get done, I just¬†had¬†to make this first. I won’t be able to continue with work unless this gets online.

Guess which software I’m on ūüėõ

Tell me what you th

the Paste Remembers
the Paste Remembers – angmgakwentonikilay.wordpress.com

ink.

Ang mga Kwento ni Kilay: Unang Kwento

I like how my new blog layout looks like, though I wish I could further personalize the template I’ve selected for this account. Sadly, my website programming knowledge has fallen¬†way behind the times, and it’s so outdated, that I have to make time to study everything again.

Recently, an old source of irritation has revived: some colleague who thinks s/he knows everything. I’d rather stick to the dual pronoun than risk unveiling his/her identity… as a matter of fact, I think it would be a more pleasant, and less violent manner of protest if I refer to the person as ‘it’ all throughout this blog post. Think of ‘it’ as Stephen King’s ‘It’: a horrendous, destructive and¬†insane being whose beginnings are unknown. Nobody knows exactly how this person lived to be at that age, considering how awful its personality is, I’m surprised no one has even taught it a lesson. And by¬†lesson, I mean, one¬†tough beating.

Yes, I hate it that much. I get so angry whenever I see it that I can’t keep myself from singing the chorus of Eminem’s asshole¬†(his song, not the body part, mind you). The¬†song goes like this:

Everybody knows that’re just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home
Everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don’t pretend to be nice
There’s no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows
Everyone knows
Source:http://www.directlyrics.com/eminem-asshole-lyrics.html

Applause, applause, for Skylar Grey’s vocals. However I try, I cannot make myself to sound like her whenever I sing it for it. Instead of sounding like Skylar Grey, my voice comes out like Slim Shady’s annoying, nasal rant.

*tries singing while looking at it from afar*

Yeah, I do sound like Shady.

irritated-gif
I’m pretty sure this is how I look like when it starts to talk to me.

Because of this immense and uncontrollable hatred towards it, I turn into an immature monster whenever presented with an argument involving it, or a discussion about it. Sometimes, I try to look back and remember why I started hating it.

And then I remembered, oh yeah, it tried to sabotage my work not just once, or twice, but three times before. It believes¬†t is superior to me in all aspects, and sees it only right and just that it will be its ways, and nothing or no one else’s, that should be followed and obeyed (blindly). Of course, people who’ve known me for years would immediately shake their heads at that, because they know that I’m not the type of person who simply bows down to tyrants and turns a blind eye at oppression. I look at an extremely controlling and manipulative person as a tyrant– because immediately cancelling out another person’s free will, because someone thinks he or she does it better, is too cruel in my opinion. Nothing’s more valuable in this world than a free man’s free will, and a conscious effort to control, manipulate or stop that… simply unthinkable.

During our little petty arguments, Byron would sometimes tell me I’m being manipulative and overly controlling, to the point that it stresses him out. Putting that in mind, maybe I’m being more like it in more ways than I ever thought possible. But on smooth-sailing days, whenever I ask him about how he feels about me, he would just say that people are imperfect beings, and are bound to make mistakes. “You’re not perfect, just as I am not. But, its because of¬†our differences that we are together. One¬†completes what the other lacks, or at least we try to, and that’s why we argue.”

Based on that premise, I think, “what does it have that I don’t?”.

Nope. Nothing.

So, does that mean I hate it just because it tried to sabotage my work several times, and still acts as if it knows how to do my job better than I do?

Yeah. That sounds plausible.

Then, I really do hate it, don’t I? It doesn’t have anything to do with the “you complete me” thingamajig?

Yep.

God, I hate her.

 

 

 

 

And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

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